Self Portrait
I'd been doing portraits for ten years at this point, and I'd done everything with them that I'd wanted to. I was increasingly interested in symbols, archetypes, and myths, and knew that I would break off in that direction. But to wrap up the portrait series it only seemed fair to subject myself to the same treatment.
I don't believe that I'd ever done a self portrait before, short of classroom assignments. I wanted to paint myself as a painter, obviously, and there is a reference, at least to me, to the Magician archetype of the Tarot. In that the Magician has got an infinity sign above his head, and my first idea was to put myself in front of a blank canvas that just had a sloppy infinity sign slapped onto it. I improved on that idea when it occured to me that the depiction of myself standing in front of a portrait of myself standing in front of a portrait of myself, etc. (and ad nauseum) would suggest an infinity. In my mind there was also a relation made between the Magician's tools and my painting tools: bucket = cup, palette = plate (or pentagram,) palette knife = knife, and brush = wand. Of course I'm shown indulging in my two biggest vices at the time: coffee and cigarettes.
This did provide me with a sense of finality about my exploration into portraiture. In a personal sense I had arrived at myself, and had somewhat proclaimed myself to be master of my craft and of the direction that I would take from there. I don't mean to make any comparative statement by that, but when you practice an art you do feel like it provides you with at least one arena in your life over which you have control, and the position of decision making. When I had completed this painting I took a long break from it all and moved to Chicago.